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Mar. 13th, 2011



When I roller-blade I leave all my problems, bad thoughts and fears behind. It takes some time. But when I start to feel that the concrete under my wheels is part of my body, I do feel free. And not that heavy freedom we need to bear when we have the chance to make an important decision. It's the weightless one.

Dec. 10th, 2010


God loves you

'God loves you' - I saw it sprayed on a house on my way home this morning.
I had seen it many times before here and there in the city. Some people feel it's their duty to let you know that God loves you and they think the best way to reach their holy goal is to spray it on houses. What made this one interesting is that there was a whole conversation under it.

The statement: "God loves you."
First reaction (with different colour and handwriting): "Me too?"
Second reaction (again different handwriting): "He doesn't love me."

I can understand that there are some religious people who feel like saving my soul so they spray that sentence on houses. But what made the other two answer it? I mean, first they had to see the message on the wall, then they needed to get a spray from somewhere, and then they had to go back to answer.

I know I might sound funny but I mean it when I say: I hope the first one got his answer from somewhere and I hope the second one changed his mind.

Nov. 9th, 2010


Burning palm tree

Yesterday a very interesting thing happened to me. As I was talking to my Moon on the phone with my eyes closed suddenly I saw an image. As if someone had turned on the TV in my head.
It was a burning palm tree flying fast in the air through a totally dark tunnel.
I wish I could draw it.

But where did it come from? It had nothing to do with the conversation (or anything else), I have never seen anything like this before and I wasn't sleepy at all so I didn't slip into a dream.
Well.. interesting.

Sep. 28th, 2010


Writer's Block: Boldly going

Which fictional world would you choose to visit, and why?

I have been thinking about this question for awhile and now I have the answer.

I would like to visit the Spiritland Chihiro visited in Spirited Away. I might not survive a day but still... that world swept me off my feet.

Sep. 26th, 2010



It happens to me very rarely.

We went to see The Sorcerer's Apprentice with my family today. It was a quite good movie, I really enjoyed it. So as I was watching the movie (it was good so I was a part of it) this song came.
And it hit me. Hard. I felt it.
As if I had always known it... as if I myself had written it or as if it had been stolen from me... I felt it so familiar but at the same time it was totally new.
The movie didn't exist anymore... only the music and the lyrics. I tried to remember as many lines as possible to be able to find it on the Internet.
By the time I arrived home I could remember only one line from the lyrics 'I still like the sound of the rain'. I started searching for it crazily on the Internet and when I got to the conclusion that one line wasn't enough it was quite hopeless I found it. I did.
The title is New Life and the band is O + S. I don't know anything about them but I think soon I will.

I am not a big music fan. I mean... I can spend weeks without any music. But I can listen to only one song for days.

If you feel like giving 4 minutes from your life to the song that hit me this hard, feel free to listen to it: www.youtube.com/watch

Sep. 25th, 2010


In the same bed with a religious man

Well, it was just a dream but it was so weird and so vivid I feel like sharing it.
So I have this very very religious pal of mine. We don't really know each other we meet once in a blue moon. All I know about him is that religion is in the centre of his life.
So... I was dreaming with him.
It was like a movie. Sharp and vivid.

We had been sharing the same bedroom for some financial reason. We were very good friends and we got on well.
One evening we had a lovely chat about something but he had some business to do so after awhile he said goodbye to me and left. Somehow I had this strange feeling so I went to the door... peeked out... and I saw him standing there at the end of the dark corridor, in the corner facing the wall. I didn't say a word because I didn't want him to know that I saw him this way. I was sure he was in big trouble and he didn't know what to do. Suddenly for my big surprise he turned towards me and he came back to the flat.
He looked very confused, his face and the expression on his face changed so much. He looked troubled and broken.
He told me he couldn't understand how I could do this to him. He himself thought that we two could live together but he was wrong. He said he couldn't live his religious life sleeping in the same bedroom with me because he couldn't give all his thoughts and love to God if I was around.
I felt horrible and so stupid. How could I think that we could live together? He looked at me with those 'you ruined my life but still I love you please save me from hell' eyes and I was so ashamed of myself I have no words to describe. And suddenly I remembered that time to time I let him see my legs (my legs OMG) before we both went to sleep. Worlds were falling apart inside me. OMG I ruined a religious man's life.

Now the whole thing seems so so funny. :D But then... I felt so incredibly dirty.

Sep. 14th, 2010


Fur coat + slippers = wow

As I was coming to work today I saw a woman on the bus who was wearing a damn big black-and-white fur coat and slippers on her feet. Wow. I was amazed. She doesn't give a rat's ass about fashion or other people's opinion. Young teenagers could learn from her how to be really special. Not to mention the fact the logic is out of the question, too. I mean... really... fur coat and slippers? :)

Sep. 13th, 2010


Memoirs of a Geisha

I read Memoirs of a Geisha about 2 or 3 years ago. After 3 years I think I could forgive Sayuri for betraying Nobu, however I was incredibly furious about her.

No, I don't agree with her decision, not at all but I have had some experiences recently so I changed my mind about the whole object. It's the end of a long progress and change inside me.
I had to realise people had the right to be different (from me) and to make selfish decisions. (Do I have the right to call them selfish at all?)

Sep. 10th, 2010



When does a stranger become somebody to you? Is there a point at which your soul handles them differently? Does a door open somewhere inside you? Is there a fracture?
Or are there stairs they need to climb? Walls they need to break one by one?
Or probably it's like a river. You cannot tell when and where the stream becomes a river. You cannot put your finger on it. You can totally tell the difference between the two but to pull a line.. it's impossible.
And when does that somebody become your friend? And your love?
I don't really know the answer.
All I know is that I can be quite shocked and surprised when I realise I have a new person in my life who has grown to me. Whom I care about. Who makes my days more beautiful my life richer and my soul... heavier.

Sep. 8th, 2010


Dreaming with open eyes

It's incredible how easy it is to dream with open eyes. I am sitting on the metro and then... I am somewhere else. I wasn't planning it, I hardly notice it at all. And it doesn't let me go. I wanna come back to be able to think over my day to be able to concentrate to my work... but the illusions, the dreams I see with open eyes are stronger than me. Usually they are very short but when they get to the end they start from the beginning without any hesitation. And I see it and feel it again and again and every time they are beautiful. And so vivid. And new. I feel so weak that these little films in my head are stronger than me. But when I feel they come like a never-ending flood usually I let myself swim in them... I don't even fight because I know I have no chance.
I am sitting on the metro. But I am not even close to it.

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